Universe of Love, Act. 1

Joshua Gunawan
2 min readSep 9, 2021

Well, how should I start? Maybe I will start with a question

“What is love?”

Four letter words, the most common topic in literature, and we still don’t have an adequate amount of words to describe it. So in search of love, I think it would be better for me to jot down some notes here to wind back and see how the journey became so beautiful.

The beginning of a new beginning

I always consider myself as a lone wolf, an introverted person who rely on himself. But deep down, I was missing a touch of heaven, I was searching for love. So, I exercised faith and prayed to God,

Lord,
I surrender my life to you,
do whatever you want to do,
have authority in my life.

Give me a partner who loves You like I do,
so that I can love her the same way You love me.

Okay, this may seem like I’m desperately looking for a girlfriend, but no, I was fine with my own, I have all the time to do all the things that I want to do. I have friends to hang out with and talk to.

Long story short,
I was struggling with my career path and had to move to another company in another city. Waiting for my flight, I checked my dating app and casually swiping to kill time. Little did I know, I got matched with this girl from my hometown, 2 kilometers away from home.

Conversations flow like we’ve known each other since forever. And for a very long time, I guess I have a chance in love again.

She made me go through the most mundane days like it was just a breeze and she started to make me love her.

her smile,
her voice,
her honesty,
her humility,
her joyful attitude,

I want it all. I love it all.

I missed her hugs, even though I hadn’t got any.
Ridiculous, perhaps, is the best way to describe me.

And you know what?
I changed my career plan.

I used to think to go to Switzerland back to CERN, but my heart belongs to this girl and I must have her. People might say I’m a fool. But if that’s what it takes to have you, then let me be a fool.

Cause I only want you, Marianna.

You paint my days full of colors,
You draw a smile on my poker face,
You lay down hopes in my head,
You spread warmth through your touch.

So please stay with me, will you? And I will love you, just like He loves me.

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Joshua Gunawan

Sharing my thoughts and experiences to the world. Engineering/Finances/Philosophy.